The Saddest Thing You Shall EVER ReadEVER!
by Blue Ace of Spades
Summary: WARNING:This story shall make you sob for days on end, there is a strong chance you shall NEVER be HAPPY AGAIN after reading this.My parodySPOOF of a HP Angst Fic. Not 4 angst fans


A/N: This is a Harry Potter Angst Fic parody, I'm not really serious about this plot line here. The disclaimer is ALSO in parody form, in case u can't tell. I'm sorry if it's a bit on the vicious side...But what can I say, I am evil. To a certain extent... Muwahahahahaaa!!! MUWAHAHAAAAAAH!!! THE WOOORLD IS MIIINE!!!!!!!!!!! AhEm! Sorry, so here is my Angst Parody....

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the only thing I own is the raging darkness that consumes very soul and every fiber of my being. I own only that, for it is the cross that I, a 16-year-old from a slightly affluent suburban town must bear, and bear it I shall, come what may, COME. WHAT. MAY. BABY.

THE SADDEST THING YOU SHALL EVER READ........EVER.  
By Blue Ace of Spades

Harry yelled, his once valiant voice cracking into a shriek so full of despair that the very angels in heaven wept for him. OH HOW THEY WEPT!! For this boy, crowned once upon a time as The Boy Who Lived now seemed to be reaching the end of the golden thread that we mortals call life. Yes, here he was face to face with Voldemort in the middle of a cathedral. The holy abode of God had been transformed into a battlefield, so filled with the blood and despair of the warriors she bore that one could almost hear her cry out in pain, empathy for those slain and their very slayers as well. Harry began to doubt that there even _was_ a God as he looked upon the faces of his fallen comrades. For their souls were bound for the afterlife, soaring to the great house in the clouds, to take up residence in the room for young wizards whose lives had been cut tragically short by the frigid scissors of the Fates.   
And here I am, He chanted, almost as if praying. Still on this earth like a wretch, living while my soul mates are free, so free. This is what true sorrow is, but I am no stranger to sorrow, for it is my life. I live sorrow, I breath it, I _am_ sorrow incarnate, I _am_ the one it chose to live in, to feed upon, to........_destroy._ And tears came into his emerald eyes, _so much_ like his mother's, so much like...._Lilly's eyes...._ They streamed down his blood-coated alabaster face like a soft spring rain that will make the flowers bloom in time. Bit alas there were no flowers beneath Harry, only death was there, death, so much death, too much death for a young man to bear.   
If only _they_ could be the flowers I give life to! He said of his deceased friends, looking peaceful in their sleep.   
The only flower you shall have anything to do with is the _Great Flower of Death_!!! Voldemort shrieked, his wild fire-like eyes alive with a dastardly energy that meant death for anyone who crossed his path. As he drew near to the boy, the boy he knew so well, he uttered the words that stung like ice on warm skin.   
You shall soon be with your beloved ones.... For the Prophecy predicted this, and now, now NOTHING CAN STOP ME!!! The Dark One laughed, his head thrown back with vicious glee, like a predator domineering over his prey, dying, _longing_ to suck the life out of them and begin the feast....  
Kill me, Harry muttered, defeated. I have _no _purpose left on this Earth.   
As you wish....Harry James Potter. AVADA KIDAVERA!!!! The Dark Lord blasted Harry with the killing curse that had put an end to _so many_ lives before him. Harry screamed, the sound of agony was issued from his mandible like an alarm telling the world of the Apocalypse. And with that, the lifeless body of a great hero fell to the floor.. That's all there is..... there is no more...

Amen.  
The end....

BUT WAIT!!! The battle for the future of the entire world, both wizarding and muggle alike was _far, faar_ from over. The soul of the boy who lived rose out of it's mortal shell to face the cold blooded killer who thought that victory was at hand. Voldemort's wretched face contorted itself into an ugly scowl as the aura of the Blessed Black-Haired One passed over him, the soul fiercer than an angel, and yet more pure than a demon. Voldemort felt a strange cold run through him, one that he had never in his life felt before. Suddenly he felt the sorrow of all those he had brought misery to rise inside of him. These feeling of guilty nostalgia coursed through his veins like the wind blows through the moors on lonely, barren nights, and he could bear it no longer. Voldemort screamed, he screamed like he was being stabbed to death by the pitchfork of Lucifer, and yet there were no weapons impaling the Dark One, for his own killing was killing him slowly.....slowly....ever so...slowly. The curse that was his own doing wrapped about him like a python about an unfortunate jungle-traveler, suffocating him, _killing_ him. Voldemort, in his pain, looked up and into the ghostly face of Harry Potter, floating above him, looking so sad, yet so peaceful.  
Voldemort inquired in a strangled tone, trying to fight off the inevitable death that would soon take him.   
Ask not what I have done to you but you have done to _yourself_. Harry chanted.  
The Dark Lord whispered.  
I have merely set forth the uneasy spirits whom you have tortured in mortal life. They have come for revenge, and have it they shall, for you Voldemort shall be consumed by their sadness, the sadness _you_ inflicted upon them.  
Voldemort's eyes grew fearful, and he let out one last scream to end all screams. So shrill it was, that they beautiful stained-glass windows of the cathedral shattered into rainbow colored fragments, reflecting the light of the full moon like precious gems might. There was a collective black mist that draped over the cathedral, and when it cleared..... The Dark Lord, He Who Must Not Be Named, Tom Riddle, _Voldemort_ had cleared with it, his last utterance carried on the wind like a dissonant hymn for the ages to hear, but would slowly fade....fade...so far...away....from this place....  
Harry's soul stood above the calming chaos, floating like a cirrus cloud above the bodies, blood and glass. As he flew, a single silver tear ran down his face and disappeared when it hit the floor, a hero's tear fading for all eternity into the floors of God.   
Suddenly, a familiar red-haired girl burst into the cathedral. She stopped, her breath stolen from her chest as she looked upon the tragic scene. She looked up and let out a moan of despair when her emerald eyes fell upon the ghost of her lover.  
She cried, running to him.   
He whispered, his voice echoing about the church.  
How..what..WHY?!!! YOU CAN'T BE DEAD! YOU CAAAAN'T!! I, I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO HAVE YOU DIE!!!! She sobbed. Harry, softened by her sorrow, floated down to her.  
Ginny, I love you more than mere words can describe. I love you more than the ocean has manta rays, and I will love you until enternity ends, and a day and a half after. He said.  
She murmured.  
Yes, really. And I will _always_ be with you, He reached out a pearly hand and laid it on hear heart. Right _here._ In you _heart_ I am with you. He then rose toward the heavens, for his job on earth was finished, and there would be no repeat sign at the end of his song.  
Whenever you hear the rain falling like snowdrops in the Caribbean at midnight, _think of me._ He chanted as he rose into the heavens to join the great sky with its flying clouds and glorious moonbeams. The war was over, but it was the first day of the rest of the life of the _world_, and _that_ was the most _important _thing of _all_.

The (real) End.

A/N: Okay, I mite have gone a _leettle_ too far one point, but hey, parody has no conscience... I jk. So puleeez REVIEW!!!! I really appreciate it! Thanks!!! -Blue Ace.


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